Saturday, May 12, 2012

T Minus 6 days

So I will have my CT guided biopsy on Wednesday and should have real results on Friday 05/18/12.  This week CAN NOT go by fast enough.  I have resisted the urge to Google too much there are still too many what ifs.  This has been extremely hard to do.  Google is like a drug, you know its just waiting for you to type something in and it will give you results. Last time I Googled causes of kidney cancer it told me it mostly strikes 50+ year old black men. As I am a 33 year old white woman I found this to be annoying, so I stopped Googling.

Yesterday I was having a pity party for myself in my head.  I wanted to stay home and feel sorry for myself, instead I went to Drew's graduation and cried like a baby.  I didn't think about 'big Bertha' (Bertha is what I named my tumor) at all during the ceremony.  I was so exceptionally proud of my friend Drew and his wife Danielle for having the courage to do something so difficult - go down to 1 income with 2 small kids - to pursue a dream.  That is really what life is about, tumors or no tumors, chasing your dreams.

So tick tock tick tock lets go 6 days - I want to know what Bertha is.  I want a real game plan about how to deal with her.  I want to get back on Google!

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